Promises
by NightmareWalker
Summary: After Jane's dip in the river and subsequent saving, she and Maura have a heart to heart. Feelings come to light and Jane, for once, doesn't run away from them. Based on S5Ep13, I believe. Rizzles, don't like, don't read! T for slight language.


Heyo, guys! I was sorting through my fanfics and found this gen languishing, nearly finished, in the cobwebbed depths of my laptop. I finished writing it, polished 'er up, and am now sending it your way! To everyone who celebrates it, Happy Thanksgiving, and to those that don't, I hope you have a wonderful day! I don't celebrate the holiday in the traditional sense of the word at all, as my 'family' includes a friend I've known for over eighteen years and his parents, my second parents, but I do feel thankful that I know them and can count on them for anything.

Read on!

* * *

Jane shook her head again to try and clear the last of the water from her ears, shivering even with the thick woolen blanket over her shoulders. She vaguely heard the bargeman who had dragged her out of the water saying how lucky she was and smiled wanly when he looked at her expectantly. She felt the small vessel rock against something solid a few minutes later, heard voices that weren't the gravelly one she had endured and shakily levered herself to her feet.

"Jane? Janie!" A faint smile worked onto her lips as she heard Frankie and Korsak's voices, and Jane slowly shuffled out of the heated interior of the boat. She blinked against the bright dock lights and took a moment to realize that Frankie was rushing her, nearly tripping down the gangplank in his haste to get to her. He enveloped her in a crushing hug, hands gripping and cataloging as he whispered prayers and gratitude into her hair. Jane saw Vince smiling in relief behind her brother and returned it, albeit shakily, while gently pushing Frankie back.

"Hey, brother. Long time no see." Frankie laughed quietly and then moved to the side, and Jane's breath caught. Standing in the middle of the gangplank, pale hands gripping the ropes tightly, was Maura, her expression inscrutable.

Jane opened her arms and Maura almost fell into her, gripping tightly at her shirt and blanket and back. "You're okay, God, you're okay." Jane nodded and drops of water flew off of her hair. "I've never been so scared," Maura said, and she looked up at Jane with eyes so lit with relief the detective half expected to see them glow. A frown replaced her content smile when Maura's eyes abruptly shuttered and she stepped back, lowering her head to hide her emotions. "I'll...I'll see you back at BPD." Jane furrowed her brows and reached out as Maura retreated and heavily walked back up the gangplank.

She called after her and took a shaky step in her direction, but Frankie stepped into her path. "Janie?"

"I need-God, I have to see her, Frankie." He just nodded and stood aside and Jane shuffled after Maura.

She took Korsak's hand to steady herself when her legs, still half numb, wobbled precariously. "Thank God you're okay, Jane." He smiled and pushed her gently along, watching as Jane stumbled after Maura, and he shook his head. "Kids..."

Jane watched Maura disappear around the edge of some crates and followed, looking around in the half light for movement. She heard quiet sniffles in the shadows of two rows of crates and peered into the gloom, catching the glint of light off of a ring briefly. "Maura?"

"Jane? What are you?..." Jane heard Maura sniffle again and followed the sound to her, leaning against the opposite crate while she wiped at her eyes. "You should be getting checked out by the medic."

"I had to check on you. You didn't think I'd let you go after that reunion, right?" Jane tried to lighten the mood with humor but let her halfhearted smile fall when Maura only sniffled again and turned her head to the side. "Hey, c'mon, I'm alright." She held her hand out for Maura to take and gently pulled the smaller woman against her, enveloping her in a hug.

Maura stood stiffly in her arms for a few seconds, then melted into her embrace and turned her face up to Jane, cheeks wet with tears. "God, Jane, don't _do_ that to me." She pressed quivering lips to Jane's in relief, neither of them noticing the new behavior in the comfortable moment. Maura moved back just enough so the air from her lips puffed against Jane's chin, warming her slightly in a way that the heavy woolen blanket wasn't. "Don't – please don't do that again."

"Okay, Maura. Okay." Jane didn't know what else to say, to make the tears disappear from Maura's eyes or the tremble ease out of her slight frame, so she just held her closer and hooked her chin over her shoulder. And she realized she should probably be concerned that she was ruining the expensive looking shirt Maura was wearing, but the woman didn't seem concerned, in fact pressed closer to Jane, so she let it go.

They swayed slightly in the shadows of the dock and Jane was half asleep leaning against the cargo box when Maura spoke again, her voice a hoarse whisper against the skin of her throat. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I can't imagine my life without you in it anymore." She paused, but Jane could tell she had more to say and merely pressed her lips to golden hair and waited for her to gather her thoughts. "I wouldn't – _couldn't_ , live without you anymore. I mean, I'd still breathe and function and perform daily tasks, but I wouldn't be _alive_ without you in my life. Do you understand, Jane?"

Maura's voice was shaky with fresh tears and Jane felt sympathetic ones prick in her own eyes as she realized just how little she had thought of anyone but the man whose life had been teetering so precariously on the edge. "I'm sorry, Maur. God, I'm so damn sorry." One hand lowered to the small of Maura's back and the other cradled the back of her head as Jane continued to whisper into her shirt collar and felt shudders wracking the body cradled against hers. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please stop crying, Maur. It's alright, I'm okay, I'm right here."

Maura's hands gripped the soaked fabric of her shirt and were clinging so tightly that Jane could feel every tremor that ran through her. She wound her arms around Jane's waist and leaned heavily into her, nose pressed against her throat and wet breaths puffing against her clavicle. "Please don't scare me like that again, Jane. Promise me."

"I promise. I'll be more careful, Maura."

"Thank you." The last of the shudders fled Maura's body but she continued to lean into Jane, both content in each other's arms and feeling their warmth mingle together. Jane pressed kisses occasionally to Maura's temple and hairline and felt small hands tighten around her whenever she did. Eventually, the real world intruded upon them when Frankie yelled for Jane, and they reluctantly separated. Maura wiped at her eyes while Jane stared at her, replaying the past minutes in her head.

One moment in particular caught her attention, and her eyes widened when she realized that Maura had, in fact, kissed her on the lips, and that it hadn't been a hallucination brought on by the frigid waters. "Maur..."

She took a step toward her friend but Frankie appeared at the end of the stack, peering into the gloom. "Janie, you there?"

Jane answered him while staring into bloodshot hazel eyes. "Yeah, what do ya need?"

"The medic wants to check your temperature, make sure you're not still, ya know...Maura with you?"

"Yeah. Be right there, Frankie." Her brother shrugged and left them, and Jane canted her head to the side as Maura averted her eyes. "Maura?"

"You should head back, Jane. There's a significant chance you are hypothermic, and your vitals need to be monitored until they know-"

"Hey, I'll be fine. Hot blooded Italian, remember?" Jane smiled briefly and caught Maura's hand when she began to walk away. "Maur, we'll talk later?"

Her shoulders hunched but Maura nodded and Jane let her go. "I'll see you soon, Jane."

Jane watched Maura leave and leaned heavily against the boxes, rubbing her face as thoughts whirled around her head. "Dammit."

* * *

Jane peeked into Maura's office and slunk in when she saw the woman at her desk. "Hey."

Maura startled and jerked her head up, eyes wide as she stared at Jane. "Jane, what-"

"I had to apologize…again." Jane shuffled anxiously, eyes wandering around Maura's office. She rocked back on her heels, considering the benefits of running, but told herself to grow a pair and man up. Maura stood from her chair, head canted to the side, and twirled a ring around her finger.

"You don't-"

"Yeah, I do. Maur, I was – I was an asshole. I shouldn't have jumped after him, not without someone there. I just – there was no time, you know? It was too fast and I wasn't thinking, and I should have been." The words came out surprisingly easily, and Jane felt her shoulders lift as they poured off her lips.

"I should've thought of you, and ma and Frankie and Korsak, before I stepped off that ledge, but I didn't…not until I was swimming. And then I couldn't stop. I thought of all our nights together, and how I could always…lean on you, if I needed to. And how you just seem to know what I need, even if I don't wanna admit it, and how just…completely and utterly amazing you are, Maur." Jane swallowed back the word vomit that she couldn't seem to stop, nearly choking on her tongue as more words tumbled over in her mind (perfect, unique, beautiful came to mind and were tamped down).

Maura was near tears again and she slid into Jane's arms, buried her face against her shoulder, and dampened her collar. "Jane – I could've lost you. You would've left me alone, and I – I…we couldn't have had anymore of those things. The things that define us." Maura sniffed and tightened her grip on Jane's jacket.

Jane, meanwhile, latched onto her last sentence and mulled over it until the words were raw and stark in her head. "What...does define us?"

Maura slid back, although her hands still retained their hold on her clothes. "Our friendship and faith in each other. The way we…we can always count on the other, and how I know…" Maura flattened one hand against Jane's chest and stared seriously into her eyes. "How I know you won't ever purposefully hurt me. The way you protect me and try to keep me safe, but also trust me to watch over you and look to me for guidance sometimes."

The moment was charged with unsaid words and thick with emotion. Jane was torn between running and staying, and they both knew it. Maura's eyes pleaded with her to stay, but also accepted the high probability of her fleeing, and Jane found her decision in gleaming hazel. She wet her lips and leaned down, her head screaming at her to stop and _think_ (like she had been doing anything but since she first jumped off the bridge). She obstinately stamped down the urge to pull back and focused instead on the way Maura's hands were trembling at her waist, the way her eyes fluttered closed slowly and long lashes cast shadows over the arch of her cheeks. Jane paused imperceptibly when Maura's breath wafted over her chin and closed the remainder of the distance before she could talk herself out of it.

Maura's lips were soft, she noticed, and Jane decided she rather enjoyed the sensation. The voice at the back of her mind seemed to have been shocked into silence, and Jane smirked internally as she visualized a miniature version of her standing with jaw dropped and eyes bugged out. Her hands settled uncertainly at Maura's jaw and neck, where she could feel her pulse beating rapidly, and her palms tingled with sensation as they slipped over silk. Maura made a small noise at the back of her throat, something between a sigh and a sob, and Jane slid her lower lip between hers, sucking it gently before releasing it.

She began to step back, uncertain to what she should be doing, and felt Maura's hands tightened on her jacket. Jane almost chuckled when she saw the frown on her lips but worry overrode humor as Maura pulled her lower lip between her teeth. "Maur? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that; I just thought-"

Maura held up one hand for silence and Jane's teeth clicked together audibly as she shut her mouth. She watched in fascination as Maura's brain re-engaged (she was more than a little proud of that) and the woman before her visibly began processing. Her eyes flicked back and forth although she wasn't looking at any one thing in particular, and her brow furrowed and smoothed over repeatedly. Jane shifted on her feet after a few minutes and let out a breath when Maura blinked and her eyes refocused. "Maur?"

"I…what do you want, Jane?"

"Right now, I'd appreciate a burger," Jane quipped, wincing as sharp hazel eyes pierced her in place. "Sorry."

Maura's gaze softened. "It's okay, I realized a long time ago that you resort to sarcasm and redirection when you feel threatened." Jane stuck her tongue out childishly and Maura laughed. "I mean, are you just doing this because you feel obligated to? Is this just some hormonal response on your part as a way to cope with – almost dying last night?"

"Hey, no, c'mon. you know I don't operate like that. Hell, I braved Cavanaugh's wrath to come in today and see you; that should prove something to you." Jane smiled and sobered quickly. "Seriously, Maura, you know he threatened to write me up if I came in at all this week. I had to sneak in through the dead people entrance just to talk with you. I wouldn't chance that just for a casual chat." Her hands rubbed along Maura's arms before squeezing her fingers gently.

"Swimming in that water for so long…it gave me a lot of time to think about things; my family, my job…about you…and me." She ducked her head and Maura felt a thrill run through her as the weight of Jane's words were released into the minute space between them. She ran her thumbs over the raised scars on the backs of Jane's hands to indicate she was listening. "I know I can be an asshole sometimes – a lot of times – and I'm not good at this 'feelings' thing, but last night, when I saw you, and then you kissed me afterward…"

She took a shaky breath and Maura moved closer, leaning against her sturdy warmth and wrapping her arms around her waist. "It made me realize that I want more mornings with you, bickering over coffee, and afternoons down here in the morgue, and nights where I can – where I can kiss you. I don't know what 'this' is, what we would call it, but I want to try it, if you want."

Jane swallowed and shifted uncomfortably but Maura just buried her nose against her shoulder and tightened her grip. She waited for Jane to cautiously wrap her arms around her shoulders and smiled against her collar. "I'd like that. But," she leaned back to look up at Jane, whose face was twisted somewhere between ecstasy and panic, "you have to make me a promise."

"Anything."

"I wouldn't go that far, Jane, you might regret that word."

"I don't care, I never mind promising you anything," she said with conviction.

"Promise me you will stop taking unnecessary risks, Jane. You have so many people who love you and want you to stay here for a long time, myself included. We hate seeing you hurt and in pain and, while I'm aware it comes part and parcel in your line of work, you can be more cautious. Please, that's all I want. Just promise you'll be more careful."

Her eyes beseeched Jane and the brunette nodded immediately. Maura wound her fingers in wild hair and pulled Jane's mouth to hers, smiling against her lips. Jane pulled back just a bit and smiled broadly, palm running up and down her back soothingly as she kissed Maura's forehead. "I promise."


End file.
